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Our work of love should be to reclaim masculinity and not allow it to be held hostage to patriarchal domination. There is a creative, life-sustaining, life-enhancing place for the masculine in a non-dominator culture. And those of us committed to ending patriarchy can touch the hearts of real men where they live, not by demanding that they give up manhood or maleness, but by asking that they allow its meaning to be transformed, that they become disloyal to patriarchal masculinity in order to find a place for the masculine that does not make it synonymous with domination or the will to do violence.

—

bell hooks, The Will to Change, p115. (via tiledsarenomore)

our
work
of
love

(via transitionsurrection)

(via mmmajestic)

TEARS LIKE DIAMONDS: Gates

eightysixed:

Names I can’t save because I don’t make the rules. We take photographs at the gas station and it reminds us of high school. Why we want to remember all of that shit, I’m not sure. I appreciate the night because it makes sense for sad fucking people. We stop for cigarettes at Oat’s; we buy our old…

Buttah Love: 10 things to remind yourself of on a daily basis

rumiandshit:

  1. Do not lose sight of what truly matters. Does that clogged sink signify the end of the world? Are you going to remember or even care that the stranger you smiled at in the coffee shop didn’t smile back? When we’re having a bad day, we seem to zoom in on petty things and complain about them. Next time you’re pulling your hair out over something, ask yourself if it really matters. 
  2.  It is okay to be alone or pull back from the world. Sometimes we just need to step back and re-evaluate a situation, a relationship, or just life in general. If you need to go into hiding for awhile and work on stitching yourself back up, take the time to do that. It is so important to pull back and spend quality time with yourself every now and then.
  3.  You are not always in control. You cannot predict when certain things will or should happen, or how everything will turn out. Sometimes you just have to stop pushing and let go.
  4.  What other people think is irrelevant. Don’t let your immediate reaction to criticism be to change whatever it is you’re being criticized for. Do whatever feels right to you, regardless of what other people have to say about it.
  5.  Don’t give up. If you’re fighting for something that means a lot to you, do not stop fighting whenever you happen to fall short. Remember why you are fighting for it.
  6.  You don’t have to know all the answers. No one ever has life all figured out. We are always learning and growing. Life itself is a mystery and it’s okay to feel clueless sometimes.
  7. You are enough. All of us have had times in our lives where we have thought, “I’m not smart enough or pretty enough or strong enough or exciting enough to do _____.” Give yourself a chance instead of forming limiting beliefs.
  8. Stay present. Try not to dwell on the past or worry about the future. Take everything one day at a time.
  9. Your feelings will not kill you. I know that heartbreak, grief, depression, or resentment might make you feel like you’re dead and breathing, but you have the strength to get through whatever life throws at you. Hold on and see yourself through it.
  10. You are human. This is probably the biggest reminder of them all. You will make mistakes. You will hurt other people and other people will hurt you. You won’t always feel happy and positive. Next time you feel the urge to beat yourself up over any of these things, remind yourself that you are an imperfect human being instead.

(via beccabae)

distortedthoughtsofbeauty:

Striped Icebergs

Icebergs sometimes have stripes, formed by layers of ice deposited on different conditions. Blue stripes are created when a crevice in the ice sheet fills up with melted water and freezes so quickly that no bubbles form. Green stripes form when an iceberg falls into the sea and a layer of water rich in algae freezes onto the bottom.  Brown, black and yellow lines are caused by sediment, picked up when the ice sheet grinds downhill towards the sea. 

(Photos: Antarctica Series by Steve Nicol)

Beautiful 

(Source: letslook4treasure, via beccabae)

What men mean when they talk about their “crazy” ex-girlfriend is often that she was someone who cried a lot, or texted too often, or had an eating disorder, or wanted too much/too little sex, or generally felt anything beyond the realm of emotionally undemanding agreement. That does not make these women crazy. That makes those women human beings, who have flaws, and emotional weak spots. However, deciding that any behavior that he does not like must be insane– well, that does make a man a jerk.

And when men do this on a regular basis, remember that, if you are a woman, you are not the exception. You are not so cool and fabulous and levelheaded that they will totally get where you are coming from when you show emotions other than “pleasant agreement.”

When men say “most women are crazy, but not you, you’re so cool” the subtext is not, “I love you, be the mother to my children.” The subtext is “do not step out of line, here.” If you get close enough to the men who say things like this, eventually, you will do something that they do not find pleasant. They will decide you are crazy, because this is something they have already decided about women in general.